Posted in The Psychoanalysis of Tom and Tina

Relationship Talk 1-on-1

Back in 2015, the ladies and I embarked on an Urban Ski weekend trip in the mountains of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Also there was Karlie Redd and Rasheeda and Kirk Frost from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. I’m a follower of the LHHATL brand and through watching I became utterly disgusted at watching Kirk disrespect his wife on national TV week after week, not realizing it could be all for TV, so when I seen him checking into their hotel in Tennessee I kept that same energy and look of disgust on my face as I did on my couch watching the TV screen. Anywho, Rasheeda and Karlie were nice, danced and allowed us to take pictures with them while Kirk sat and watched.

In watching the show they’ve been married for about 17/18 years and have 2 sons together. Kirk has 5 or 6 other kids from previous relationships but I’m not sure if that came before or after the marriage. You can do the math. I always thought Rasheeda was too naive and easy on him. Or was the LHHATL check so good that they chose to make a fool of their marriage on TV. Whatever it was, they looked crazy as hell. Fast forward to this past Monday. I was a few weeks behind so in playing catch up on old episodes that I missed it’s 4 years later and Mr. Kirk still doing the same ol dog sh*t. He done had a WHOLE baby with a young broad from the strip club and now wants to walk on eggshells with the baby mama to protect his peace with his family. Ok sir. After being in the dog house with his wife, Rasheeda finally let’s him move back in the home, they have their family back and all seems good.

On a recent episode, Kirk and Rasheeda took the other TV couples on a camping trip, did some activities and gave advice on how to keep it fresh in the bedroom, how to juggle being a mom and wife and tips for a long-lasting union. Now, this may not be the two best people this info is coming from but I see the point when you look at the big picture- they seem to have a strong union, no matter what the hell Kirk does she ain’t leaving and they’re sorta the faces of the LHHATL brand since Stevie J and Joseline didn’t work out and Mimi is just.. there. As I watch now, I no longer let it get under my skin why Rasheeda doesn’t go harder on him or why Kirk keeps screwing over his wife. If they love it why should I care? That’s they business and who knows, it’s probably all for TV. It’s my weekly dose of ratchet so I watch and chuckle like the next.

We’ve all been in relationships or situations where your friends or family don’t like the person you’re dealing with, don’t agree with your decisions or just can’t understand of allll the men in the world, why’d you have to choose that one? There is no one right answer but I believe every decision made is a part of life and learning more about you. In a social media world it’s so easy to get wrapped up in other people’s stories or how they portray life to be in private vs. public. It’s also easy to insert your opinion in someone else’s life when they put every second on Facebook. And I’m the first one to scratch my head and ask, why put it out there if you dont want people to comment then get mad when something is said that you don’t agree with? But I’m also in a space of “who cares” when I have my own things to worry about. Life is more simpler this way when you just do you.

I dated a guy years ago (we’ll call him Buddy) and neither of the parentals cared for him as a man (because he had a number of kids) or a boyfriend (because he was almost twice my age). But, I wanted what I wanted. Over time things started changing and I found myself slowly distancing myself from him. Things I wanted to do, he made excuses. Trips I wanted to take, he wasn’t interested. Areas I needed assistance in, he wasn’t supportive or helpful. I started asking those real life questions- Is this what I want in a mate? How will this impact our future little ones? At some point if it’s not helping you grow it’s hindering you.

But what I didn’t realize is all along he knew he wasn’t the guy for me and me succumbing to his lifestyle wasn’t elevating me to reach my full potential of where I wanted to go in life. He seen it but I got comfortable. The warning signs were there and I had to learn and make that decision on my own. He let it be known he was stuck in his ways and didn’t want to change. Whether I agree or disagree, I respected him for not wasting another second of my time or his. We parted ways with no hard feelings or baggage and moved on.

When friends come to me with problems I now learn to listen first and ask questions later. I’ve learned that everything doesn’t require a long, drawn out Dr. Phil answer or counseling session. Sometimes people just need to talk it out to vent and need you to listen. That’s it. 9 times out of 10 a person knows if they’re going to stay in that unhealthy situation or relationship you may not agree with. They may not hear nothing you have to say the first 4 times you say it but allow them the space to figure it out without feeling like it’s more weight between your friendship. You don’t have to agree but you must know your place. Did you hear me? Know. Your. Place.

We all go through things in friendships, situationships, relationships and marriages and it’s not always easy having someone listen without placing judgement on your issue. All advice isn’t good and unsolicited advice is not always warranted so if giving advice, be sure it’s truth (even if it hurts) and coming from a place of love. Until next time.. — Corrita 💛

Posted in Twerk That Tambourine

DJ Khaled’s ‘Father of Asahd’ album review

“One spliff a day ah keep the evil away

Lord. One spliff a day ah keep the evil away ah

… It’s a holy mountain”

🎧 The album starts with an island jam as Buju Banton headlines the track along with 3 other island artists as they get straight to work on the track #HolyMountain. The first minute of the song starts with a thundering sound until DJ Khaled applauds himself on “another one” and drops the head-bopping beat. The remainder of the song is full of catchy lyrical content as they rap and rhyme about receiving blessings after being tested. If nothing else, enjoy the beat! Sick!

🎧 21 Savage hops on the track #WishWish alongside Cardi B. She’s always giving advice to the ladies whether it’s from the streets or the bedroom as she kindly tells us, “whatever you do, sis, keep it cute, sis. Leave that beefin’ sh*t at Ruth Chris or end up toothless”. From the jump of the song,  you can tell it’s another banger!

🎧 #Jealous is a song about outsiders giving their opinion or worrying about the relationship of you and your partner. It’s a happy-go-lucky song as Chris Brown starts it off. Lil Wayne throws jabs through his flow saying “she posts a pic of me and her from off her iPad, you know them hoes don’t like that where the likes at? Jealousy is a disease you can die mad.” According to CB, if you’re jealous you just need some love in your life.

🎧 #JustUs is a recognizable beat remade from Outkasts’ “Ms. Jackson”. The song is about a couple who’s in their own lane and happily doing them. Sza did a good job bringing a different hook to this classic. When the smoke clears and you’re still standing for each other 10 toes down, it’s proof “all we got is what we got, it’s our way it’s never them”.

🎧 #YouStay is a collab featuring Meek Mill, Jeremih as he brings the mellow vibes, J. Balvin and Lil Baby. The song starts off in Spanish then the artists claim their spots telling why their significant other chooses to stay and cry every night when she isn’t treated the best. He basically feels like his woman/partner is too loyal. Us ladies have all had a relatable experience on why we stay past our dismissal date but that’s a whole story for another day..

🎧 Next up comes Travis Scott talking about being able to #Celebrate with the loved ones and lost ones. Post Malone comes through flowing in the vocals to match Travis Scott’s futuristic mix between autotune and deep vocal raps. The song has an emotional feel to it because we’ve all celebrated in some way or another and remembered those loved ones who’ve either transitioned on or aren’t in our lives anymore. The song has a touching feel to it, yet, makes you feel accomplished as DJ Khaled comes in towards the end stating as we continue to celebrate life, it’s always love. In this moment it’s all about happy feels, good vibes and pursuing forward. I can hear this song being jammed at graduations, pool parties, a repass or a casual drive down the highway.

🎧 Lucky song #7 comes in with a church choir type feel as John Legend hums, his octaves increase and he sings “You keep taking me #Higher and Higher, but don’t you know that the devil is a liar”. In the first 13 seconds of the song I feel like he’s literally taking us to a place we’re all seeking to go- heaven! With the different melodies and percussions, you automatically think church organ on Sunday before Sis. Judy cries. As the beat drops, your foot starts tapping, head bobbing and you instantly catch on to the vibe. Legend gives us a quick 4-second snippet of what you’ll feel lyrically as the song plays “They rather see me down but my soul’s in the fire”. Our beloved Nipsey Hussle comes in with raps about the his Grandmother’s miscarriage struggles, how his father came from Africa to LA, met his mom and displays how proud he is of their accomplishments. Similar to the “Los Angeles love kinda like Hussle and Boog”, as Nip shouts out the nickname of his soulmate and LA love- Lauren London. Legend comes back in with more power and emphasis on the lyrics he sings. Nip comes back in with more rap tunes as DJ Khaled hypes him up for round 2. “Emptied out the clip it was broad day, f*ck niggas always gotta learn the hard way”- in this moment I knew the song became way too real. Nip always seemed to be very knowledgeable, ahead of his time and “woke” to bad/suspicious vibes. Nip was shot and killed a few months ago in this manner. And the outrage of the public couldn’t fathom why the killer would do such a thing. The public speculated their own philosophies, beliefs and illuminatic reasons for how and why Nip was killed but that one realistic sentence in itself makes you wonder… Legend ends it testifying in his own melodic way as the song comes to a close. This is the strongest I’ve ever heard Legend belt out those notes and I felt every.single.word. This song is powerful, brilliant and scarily real on so many levels! Definitely a song that’s been on repeat.

🎧 #WontTakeMySoul is rapped by Nas as Ceelo Green uses his lower register to serenade the hook. Nas’ authenticity on this track mixed with Ceelo’s vocals resembles a Sam Cooke sound similar to his hit “A Change Is Gonna Come” and how much depth and emotion the song gives. This song has an old school feel and makes you pause for a second to think. “You don’t know where I came from, I can’t go back, no, I can’t run, I won’t do that for nobody.”

🎧 Meek Mill and Lil Baby team up on #WeatherTheStorm. In the 2.5 minutes the song plays, it’s no chorus or catchy hooks but the song is still nice and makes you want to hear more.

🎧 Another banger comes in from the legends, Jeezy and Rozay shouting out money and all things #BigBoyTalk.

🎧 Lil Wayne hops on a more up tempo remake of Jodeci’s ‘ #FreakNYou ‘ with Gunna.

🎧 #TopOff is the first single off the album which dropped sometime last year featuring Jay-Z, Beyonce and Future. Future adds hypeness to the track while Jay spits hot fire on his verses before he brings in his queen. Bey’s rap on this song is one of the best! She’s also a queen at throwing subtle shade when she sounds off on the verses, “I’m the only lady here, still the realest n*gga in the room. I break the internet, top two and I ain’t number two. My body, my ice, my cash, all real, I’m a triple threat..” Dope song and definitely a summer banger for 2019.

🎧 #NoBrainer is a song designated for Justin Bieber’s sound. To spice it up Quavo added a few verses. In a world full of hoes, as Chance the Rapper raps, it’s a no brainer choosing his current mate over someone else.

🎧 Big Sean comes through again on #ThankYou as he raps his praises of thanks to not only DJ Khaled (who helped put him on) but also his Grandmother, family and anyone who’s contributed to his wins and losses, even his “Thank You, Next” ex-girlfriend, Ariana Grande.

🎧 And lastly, Buju Banton gives us a reggae beat and takes us home with the chorus, hook and verses as he sings about marching on on the track #HolyGround.

Overall, I really enjoyed the album and it’s definitely one I can listen to from start to finish. Each artist was able to shine in their own way while DJ Khaled ensured each track created variety for the artist while making sure it was still a banger.

This is my first album review so feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you thought about the review, if you’ve heard the F.O.A. album and liked/disliked it or if you have no clue who most of these artists are. Lol. All responses are welcome. Thanks for reading along. — Corrita 💛