Posted in The Psychoanalysis of Tom and Tina

Relationship Talk 1-on-1

Back in 2015, the ladies and I embarked on an Urban Ski weekend trip in the mountains of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Also there was Karlie Redd and Rasheeda and Kirk Frost from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. I’m a follower of the LHHATL brand and through watching I became utterly disgusted at watching Kirk disrespect his wife on national TV week after week, not realizing it could be all for TV, so when I seen him checking into their hotel in Tennessee I kept that same energy and look of disgust on my face as I did on my couch watching the TV screen. Anywho, Rasheeda and Karlie were nice, danced and allowed us to take pictures with them while Kirk sat and watched.

In watching the show they’ve been married for about 17/18 years and have 2 sons together. Kirk has 5 or 6 other kids from previous relationships but I’m not sure if that came before or after the marriage. You can do the math. I always thought Rasheeda was too naive and easy on him. Or was the LHHATL check so good that they chose to make a fool of their marriage on TV. Whatever it was, they looked crazy as hell. Fast forward to this past Monday. I was a few weeks behind so in playing catch up on old episodes that I missed it’s 4 years later and Mr. Kirk still doing the same ol dog sh*t. He done had a WHOLE baby with a young broad from the strip club and now wants to walk on eggshells with the baby mama to protect his peace with his family. Ok sir. After being in the dog house with his wife, Rasheeda finally let’s him move back in the home, they have their family back and all seems good.

On a recent episode, Kirk and Rasheeda took the other TV couples on a camping trip, did some activities and gave advice on how to keep it fresh in the bedroom, how to juggle being a mom and wife and tips for a long-lasting union. Now, this may not be the two best people this info is coming from but I see the point when you look at the big picture- they seem to have a strong union, no matter what the hell Kirk does she ain’t leaving and they’re sorta the faces of the LHHATL brand since Stevie J and Joseline didn’t work out and Mimi is just.. there. As I watch now, I no longer let it get under my skin why Rasheeda doesn’t go harder on him or why Kirk keeps screwing over his wife. If they love it why should I care? That’s they business and who knows, it’s probably all for TV. It’s my weekly dose of ratchet so I watch and chuckle like the next.

We’ve all been in relationships or situations where your friends or family don’t like the person you’re dealing with, don’t agree with your decisions or just can’t understand of allll the men in the world, why’d you have to choose that one? There is no one right answer but I believe every decision made is a part of life and learning more about you. In a social media world it’s so easy to get wrapped up in other people’s stories or how they portray life to be in private vs. public. It’s also easy to insert your opinion in someone else’s life when they put every second on Facebook. And I’m the first one to scratch my head and ask, why put it out there if you dont want people to comment then get mad when something is said that you don’t agree with? But I’m also in a space of “who cares” when I have my own things to worry about. Life is more simpler this way when you just do you.

I dated a guy years ago (we’ll call him Buddy) and neither of the parentals cared for him as a man (because he had a number of kids) or a boyfriend (because he was almost twice my age). But, I wanted what I wanted. Over time things started changing and I found myself slowly distancing myself from him. Things I wanted to do, he made excuses. Trips I wanted to take, he wasn’t interested. Areas I needed assistance in, he wasn’t supportive or helpful. I started asking those real life questions- Is this what I want in a mate? How will this impact our future little ones? At some point if it’s not helping you grow it’s hindering you.

But what I didn’t realize is all along he knew he wasn’t the guy for me and me succumbing to his lifestyle wasn’t elevating me to reach my full potential of where I wanted to go in life. He seen it but I got comfortable. The warning signs were there and I had to learn and make that decision on my own. He let it be known he was stuck in his ways and didn’t want to change. Whether I agree or disagree, I respected him for not wasting another second of my time or his. We parted ways with no hard feelings or baggage and moved on.

When friends come to me with problems I now learn to listen first and ask questions later. I’ve learned that everything doesn’t require a long, drawn out Dr. Phil answer or counseling session. Sometimes people just need to talk it out to vent and need you to listen. That’s it. 9 times out of 10 a person knows if they’re going to stay in that unhealthy situation or relationship you may not agree with. They may not hear nothing you have to say the first 4 times you say it but allow them the space to figure it out without feeling like it’s more weight between your friendship. You don’t have to agree but you must know your place. Did you hear me? Know. Your. Place.

We all go through things in friendships, situationships, relationships and marriages and it’s not always easy having someone listen without placing judgement on your issue. All advice isn’t good and unsolicited advice is not always warranted so if giving advice, be sure it’s truth (even if it hurts) and coming from a place of love. Until next time.. — Corrita πŸ’›

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Corrita's World

4 thoughts on “Relationship Talk 1-on-1

  1. Girl what I have learned is you gotta do what works for you and your significant other. Everyone may not agree but its yall in the relationship not yall and them! Also, people will always have something to say or comment but you can’t let them dictate what yall do. Another thing is you don’t let nobody tell you nothing about your significant other…..meaning if someone tells me something about my husband that he is cheating or seen with another woman then I am coming to him. Approaching him then I will check that someone about the info I was given. That’s my two sense….😘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I felt this one deep down..I still wonder about the person I’m with even though he’s the sweetest..I wonder is he blocking me from going further in lifeπŸ˜•

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s no easy answer but first you have to know what you want. Never neglect you. Then, you have to ask yourself those tough questions. A good start is to make a list of pros and cons and go from there.. Hope this helps!

      Like

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