Mother’s Day is not a favorite “holiday” of mine. Never has been. I was blessed to be adopted as a baby and had a life well-provided for but my relationships with my mothers (adoptive and bio) have not been the best. If you truly know me and we’ve had conversations on a deeper level, it’s no secret. It’s an area in my life that has always been strained, strange to discuss and hard to overcome from a pre-teen to now. I’m surrounded by sooo many women: sisters, Aunts, my Grandmother, God-Mother, co-workers and friends whom I look up to but it’s absolutely nothing like having a mother/daughter relationship. Yearned for but never had.
With the help of a friend, a few months ago I got into therapy to address those dark areas in my life. As I did my homework things started looking up. In the AA community, therapy isn’t always a go-to solution. For years I’ve always heard “just pray about it”. I do and I have prayed but sometimes a fix is needed on a deeper level. At first I was a bit ashamed about it but when I sat and thought, you shouldn’t be ashamed of something that will help you grow. I too want to be a therapist at some point and I need to understand from the client’s perspective what it’s like sitting on the other side of the couch spilling your words on sensitive subjects.
I was invited and asked to do a poem at a Mother’s Day breakfast last week. As I was writing and gathering my thoughts I didn’t only want to talk about the beautiful things or happy times of Mother’s Day because that’s not everyone’s experience. A lot of women find that day hard for a number of reasons, including myself. By the end, it was not only therapeutic for me but helpful for other women as well. Saying that to say, never Judge a person’s story if the day isn’t all about happy feelings, flowers and champagne. You never know another’s person’s walk. Today has not been a good day, at all. I’ve been in the house and to myself but I have to do some baking and will find the strength to attend church with my mother tomorrow so tomorrow will be a better day. –Corrita 💛